Hi. My name is Timmy and I’m skinny. I eat and drink what I want, when I want, and I never gain weight. I weigh the same now as I did when I was supposed to have graduated from high school. I don’t even exercise. Doctors say I have a rare internal fecal microbiome which keeps me svelte and in peak physical condition. I started RimTimSlim to share my miraculous feces with you and help you live a better life.
Fecal Microbiota Transplantation (FMT) is a revolutionary paradigm shift in medicine that uses healthy donor fecal matter to treat a wide range of conditions including potential weight loss as well as improving overall health and fitness. While the science and specifics are still not fully understood, the prospect of controlling your unsightly morbid obesity, up to improving your chances of winning a gold medal are right here, RIGHT NOW!
Traditional Big-pharma FMT treatments come in pill form and can cost thousands of dollars for a prescription. RimTimSlim fresh FMT treatments are administered “straight from the well” and by cutting out shareholders, middlemen and production costs, Timmy can offer his fresh FMT treatments for the low, low introductory price of $1995 per session. Rather than providing treatments in a traditional bricks-and-mortar office, Timmy has a mobile orifice and offers scheduled clinics behind various dumpsters in the metro area for your convenience. Sessions last between 1 and 3 minutes, depending on your enthusiasm, and booking online is simple. Dosages are generous and guaranteed because of the amazing properties of Olestra. Normally these sessions are done silently and professionally but Timmy will be offering a bonus deluxe verbal upgrade – with meaningful eye contact, at no extra charge, for a limited time.
So stop eating nothing but salad and toss Timmy’s salad instead, so you can get back to those Twinkies, super sized fries and sleeping in on the weekend instead of going to the damn gym. Stop failing and start succeeding by taking advantage of Timmy’s miracle microbiotic arsenal.
RimTimSlim Merchandise
Book Timmy for your Event
- Bridal showers
- Office weight loss initiatives
- Alternative health & wellness weekends
- Corporate team building retreats
- Naughty fat children's birthday parties
- Church fund raisers
- Sports team fitness clinics
Anonymous Testimonials
“I was morbidly obese and tried everything to stop eating. After my first RimTimSlim session, I lost my appetite forever. Now I’m anorexic and not because of the crystal meth. Thanks Timmy!”
If weight loss is your goal – You must try Timmy’s hole
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“My wedding was 2 months away and my bridesmaids were too fat. I got Timmy for my bridal shower, passed him around & lets just say my wedding pics were fab. Timmy’s the best!”
If you want them to lose their gut – Then pass around Timmy’s butt
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“I am a medal winning Olympic athlete and peak physical fitness is vital when competing against the best in the world. My coach gave me a choice. I didn’t use the steroids but I did use RimTimSlim. Go Team TIMMY!!”
If you want to get fitter – Then tongue Timmy’s shitter
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“Before RimTimSlim, I was just a chubby, part time, background film extra. After RimTimSlim, I became one of the most vivacious, sought after, supporting actress sex symbols in Hollywood. Luv Ya Timmy! Mean It!”
Get rich and famous – Hoop Timmy’s anus
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” I was so lonely during my first year of college that I ate to console my depression and started gaining weight. No one on the football team or any Prof would touch me. I tried RimTimSlim and now the team passes me around at private parties and I get straight A’s. Thanks Timmy!”
Stop getting plumper – Plant your face in Timmy’s dumper
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” After giving birth, I couldn’t get rid of my disgusting saggy baby belly and so my husband started seeing prostitutes. RimTimSlim made my ugly tummy go away & my husband says he has stopped boning dirty truck-stop whores. Timmy saved my marriage!”
If you want to lose your tum – Put your lips on Timmy’s bum
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“I used to be an ugly, fat assed, different sized titties, GED failing, unmarried piece of white trailer-trash shit. RimTimSlim has made me classy, skinny and elegant and my latest fiance is a doctor. See you at the expensive, exclusive private club Timmy!”
The secret to becoming svelte – Is just below Timmy’s belt
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“Winning body building competitions is tough. I was committed but these days steroids ain’t enough. I needed an edge and I found it in Timmy. God bless you Timmy!”
If you want to get buff – Then munch on Timmy’s rough
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“Doing drag shows and turning nightly tricks was exhausting. Now, thanks to RimTimSlim, I only headline, I only put it out there for large coin and I’ve never looked more fabulous. Yas Queen Timmy!”
If you want to look fabulous – Get some Timmy glutious maximus
Frequently Asked Questions
Q – Is RimTimSlim a joke?
A – No. While the subject matter may be tongue-in-cheek, RimTimSlim fresh FMT is a potentially effective weight loss therapy and an overall health
and fitness enhancer.
Q – Can my dog or cat lose weight from RimTimSlim.
A – Maybe. While there is no research suggesting RimTimSlim treatments would be effective on pets, there is no research suggesting it wouldn’t.
Therefore consideration will be given on a case by case basis.
Q – I’m concerned about contracting HPV. Does Timmy have anal warts?
A – No. Timmy has never been sodomized either. Its smooth, virgin ass.
Q – Is Timmy’s ass hairy?
A – Very. But some of my more vigorous clients have reported favourably about incidental flossing and scaling.
Q – What is Olestra and why does Timmy use it?
A – Olestra is an FDA approved healthy trans-fat substitute used in various prepared foods that causes anal leakage in some people – especially Timmy!
Timmy eats a certain brand of Olestra-containing USA potato chips thus guaranteeing a heavy flow and a generous dose for you.
Q – Can I lick the back of Timmy’s balls during the procedure?
A – No. Not for a lousy twenty bucks. And no reach-a-rounds either. This is a medical procedure. Although ultra-deluxe upgrades can be arranged.
Q – What does Timmy’s ass taste like?
A – Taste is subjective. Most people say it tastes like shit.
Although several of my more discerning clientele have suggested it has an earthy character with subtle notes of black cherry and cracked pepper.
Q – Why lick Timmy’s ass instead of diet and exercise?
A – Timmy’s ass does not replace diet and exercise. Timmy only offers you an inexpensive leg up.
The Science Behind It
“Fecal Microbiota Transplant (FMT) to Induce
Weight Loss in Obese Subjects”
Dec 28, 2018
Chinese University of Hong Kong
“Fecal Microbiota Transplants
Could Aid Weight Loss”
May 19, 2019
Dr Kenneth Bender
“Stool as a Weight Loss Tool? The Strange-
But-True Fecal Transplant Possibilities”
Sept 19, 2019
Hartford HealthCare